Perspective Snippets are on the home page, and are short one-liners. Perspective Snips are just a bit longer, and so have more explanations. Perspectives are longer still. Nutshells are attempts to cover the whole subject, generally fail, and should be renamed Perspectives belonging at a previous stage of maturity and view.

a central description

Nov 28, 2018

Anything that your conversationist presents and makes visible is something they are stuck on or incomplete with, and either resisting or not ‘being with’. Most of what you see and feel from someone is that resistance or discomfort.

If your conversationist was complete and without issue on a subject, then they wouldn’t notice the subject, and the subject wouldn’t manifest in conversation or behaviour. It would be like gravity or a rock, things that have no noticeable or significant feeling.

(When you complete something or move on, then the issue evaporates and disappears, usually silently and without realisation or catharsis).
The manifestations are more visible from outside – it is difficult if not impossible for the owner – your conversationist – to sense them, because their perception and awareness has to pass through these manifestations. From that inside, all they will sense – and therefore be projected to the canvas of the outside world – are these manifestations, these incomplete things.

You too will have these manifestations, but you won’t sense them directly either.

It gets more dramatic: the only things that come to your attention and consciousness are these incomplete things and resisting them. Your attention and consciousness is entirely filled with these things. This type of attention relates to your identity, and we might come to this later.
This is true of yourself – what you feel in yourself how these things that are incomplete and outstanding.

[Other less persistent and more superficial attention happens with inanimate objects, mostly when you notice something has changed or doesn’t add up].

The first thing to recognise is that expressing them open them up and makes visible for you and others to explore and work with.

The second thing to recognise is that most of them are discrepancies (differences) between you and something close to home. (If they weren’t close to home, they would be as distant as a rock or gravity). Most differences are between what you want, and what’s happening. Or more likely, between what you believe you want, and what you believe is happening.

After I explain it this way to you, some incomplete issues become obvious. For example, anger, and irritation, impatience. “The definition of anger is not getting your own way”. So anger is the difference between what you want and what you get. Or rather what you believe you want, and what you believe you are getting.

When presented and exposed like this, much anger, irritation and impatience evaporates or diminishes because that’s often what happens when you see things for what they are. If you don’t see them for what they are, and believe them something else such as unforgivable insults or deliberate injustice, then they will persist and fester.

This is true and applies to most other negative emotions: for example, “taking offence is defending what isn’t really you” – someone or something has trodden on a value of yours, and you rise to defend or protect that value or yourself. If you visualise or see like this, then perhaps you reduce the insulter to being inept for missing the target (you). Alternatively, if you see your value as distinct and separate and from your inner self, then someone treading on something near you isn’t as serious as treading on you. In both cases you have a new opportunity to address the insulter separately, and to address them more appropriately and more directly.

But sometimes being presented and exposed like this is insufficient, and you need a tool or perspective with which to grapple with the issue. Or to get clearer on what needs to be presented and exposed. I figured out some of those, and wrote some of their essentials on EsSample.com.