For me, there are five levels or layers or lenses which I apply in entering a situation (mentally or physically). I journalled and shared the first 4 today.

1 Inconceivable innermost: energy (love for humanity, divine as Marshall names it, my orientation). Where the feeling of deepest connection probably originates.

2 Needs: the manifestation of that energy as it meets (the shapes of) this real world. Where for example connection with another is most evident. Used when none of the above exist or have traction.

3 Humanness: kindness, curiosity, creativity etc named by Miki. Used when none of the above exist or have traction.

4 Respect and protocol: the basic rules of engagement and relating with others, cognitively in OFNR protocol, behaviourally as respect. Used when none of the above exist or have traction.

5 Protective use of force: most obviously when a physical action is sensed to lead to physical harm. Less clearly applied when nonphysical action is sensed to lead to physical harm or harm to the above 4 (i.e. used when none of the above exist or have traction in the relevant timeframe).

Whichever level or lens I start with in that situation, my strategy seeks to move upwards ASAP, and moves downwards stepwise when that level fails, doesn’t exist or doesn’t have traction.
I believe I have strategies appropriate for each level, which both provide confirmation/success (to try moving up one level), or irrelevance/failure (to try the next level down).

On top of the situation itself having these five levels, I also had to ask where I am. Me not having capacity or faith to engage at one level, it leads me to try the next level down, which is self-evidently a safer strategy, but also slower to get to the levels above which my humanity gravitates to.

(How do I tell which level something is requested or offered, how much humanity? My guess is that if it is addressing a level above, then it probably has more humanity. If it’s addressing a level below, it’s less (probably zero) humanity. The higher the level, the more humanity. The lower the level, probably the more strategy it appears to be).